


Faith in you and me...

by loveheals



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: I love soft Eddie Diaz I don't like Abby, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveheals/pseuds/loveheals
Summary: Eddie was waiting for the right moment to tell Buck about his feelings towards him. But what he didn't see happening, was Buck getting into a life and death situation once again.Now he is at a loss. The love of his life is slipping away and an old adversary is trying to keep them apart at all costs...
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Abby Clark, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 25
Kudos: 145





	1. Faith

Eddie couldn’t breath and that had nothing to do with the fact that he had run all the way from the parking lot up to the ER. As he burst through the doors, he saw his friends turn towards him. 

Hen stepped ahead of the others and came towards Eddie. “Hen, what is happening?” he was panicking and he felt the darkness closing on him. 

Hen looked at Eddie and saw that he would have come from home. He was in sweats and a T- Shirt. “Where were you? I thought you two were hanging out today.” she said. The whole firehouse knew that Friday was the day that Eddie and Chris had Buck over for the movie night. The teammates didn’t know what was going on between the two best friend, but they knew they hung out.

“He eh, called and cancelled” Eddie said blinking rapidly against the tears filling his eyes. “Abby is back in town, he said. Chris was devastated. It was so hard to console him” he said and he couldn’t even look at the others. “Where is he Hen? What happened?” he asked and saw his friends look at each other in worry.

“There was a shoot out. He was shot Eddie” Chim said and Eddie felt his knees give up and he was falling. His breath was coming in labored gasps. He couldn’t see anything because of the tears that would not stop.  
“No no” Eddie repeated like a prayer and covered his face with both his hands. 

“Eddie come on. We don’t know anything yet. Come on” Bobby and Chim helped him up and sat him on a chair in the visitor’s area. 

All Eddie could think was ‘What am I going to tell Chris, how am I going to tell Buck how I feel about him, how am I going to tell him all of the sleepless nights I sat on my bed and planned for a future that we shared together with Chris. I waited too long and now I might not get a chance to tell him'. Eddie felt his heart physically constrict in his chest. The thought of losing Buck was too painful to comprehend. 

“Family of Evan Buckley?” an extremely tired looking doctor asked from the people gathered around. Right on cue, Maddie stormed into the waiting area and Chim was there to receive her safely. 

“Me” Maddie said and looked at the absolute distraught face of Eddie and quickly turned towards the doctor “We are his family” 

“Well I wish I could give you some good news, at least very little, but I’m afraid there is no good news at the moment.” Both Eddie and Maddie made a collective noise of utter devastation. “But he is in ICU and being looked after very closely. The damage is very clean but sever. We would not know how he would respond to the treatment. Right now he is in a medically induced coma. However, because he is young and in peak condition there is a slight chance that he might pull through” the doctor said and gave an apologetic smile to the crowd in general before he walked away.

Eddie could not stand for the life of him. He didn’t feel his feet anymore and the sadness consumed him completely as he broke down into wheezing sobs. Hen sat next to him and rubbed his shoulders to no avail. 

“Oh!” the doctor had reached the door to the ER, but turned around. “I can allow one of you to go see him” he looked at each of them separately. “Only for a very short while though” he said.

Eddie looked at Maddie pleadingly. He wanted to see that he is still there and he had something to hold on to. 

“Eddie, you can go. I don’t think I should be there in my condition” she placed her hand on her protruding stomach lovingly.

Eddie got up with the help of Hen and walked on wobbly feet. He followed the doctor to the ICU.  
“I suggest you stay well away.” he said sadly, “He is in great risk of unwanted infections, so we cannot be too careful” he said.

As the doctor nodded his consent towards the door for Eddie to enter, he gulped and stepped through the door and at the first glance at Buck lying on the bed unmoving with hoards of machines beeping and blinking rapidly had him doubling over with pain. The blackness surrounding him was getting worst by the minute and the lump in his throat was making breathing such a struggle. He held on to the door and gasped for breath blindly with tears streaming down his face. 

A strong hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality but did nothing to ease the pain he felt. “We are trying our best. Just have faith ok” the doctor said sympathizing with the distraught young man. He helped Eddie up from his crouched position and walked him to the visitor’s area. Hen and Bobby rushed to help him and got him to sit at a nearby chair. The doctor smiled sadly at them and walked back into the ER. 

“Eddie?” Chim and Maddie sat next to him and inquired. 

“I couldn’t go in, Mads” Eddie covered his face with his hands and everyone around was looking at each other in worry. They had never seen Eddie like this. They had seen him angry and they had seen him happy, even arrogant and confrontational. But this emotionally vulnerable Eddie was something very new. “I couldn’t bear to look at him like that. He was my rock and to see him like that, helpless and so still” his voice broke and ragged sobs consumed his whole body. “It’s his fault” he said angrily wiping his face with the back of his hand. “I was fine, getting things done my own way. He had to come and break all my walls and take away my safety net” he couldn’t stop the tears from falling like a torrential downpour. “He promised he would be there and I leaned on him. It was such a relief to lean on him with my worries and baggage” he stood up suddenly. “I need to talk to Chris, he was upset that Buck cancelled the movie night” he walked away from his friends taking his phone out to call his son.

“What just happened?” Chim asked. “Did anyone know that they have been dating?” he looked around and saw others shake their heads. 

“I’m not sure even Buck knows how Eddie is feeling. We actually had a discussion about this yesterday and he would have told me if they had anything going on” Maddie said. 

Eddie came back and sat on the chair that he vacated a minute ago. “I’m going to stay here. I need to be here when he wakes up. You guys can go. Chim, Maddie has to be exhausted.” He was back to the assertive firefighter after the call. He seemed to have composed himself a bit.

“I don’t think anything will happen tonight Eds. You too can go home and come back tomorrow.” Bobby said placing a fatherly hand on the young man’s shoulder.  
“No, I can’t go home not when he is like this. Chris is with Abuela, so he’s fine. I need to be here.” that was the end of discussion. 

The others slowly left the hospital and finally Eddie was alone in the visitor’s area. Left to his thoughts when there was no one around was not good. His mind was taking him in avenues he had avoided for a long time for his own sanity. He was strong and tough, maybe he needed to vent his frustration in the form of a street fight but he was never this weak. Buck made him feel. Made him open the vault he locked all his feelings and insecurities in. Made him lay them down and show his insides to that giant puppy. Eddie without a thought laid his entire life on Buck’s hands and now he is slipping out of Eddie’s arms, taking his and Chris's lives with him.

A tortured sob escaped Eddie’s iron grip and the tears came close behind. ‘Buck please. I need you more than you would ever know. I can’t lose you.’ He thought. 

There was a flurry of activity around him. Doctors pages going off, PA system blasting doctors names, nurses running into the ER. Eddie stood up to see what was happening and he had a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
“The firefighter with GSW, he flat lined again. Call the OR, we might have to reopen” was the last thing Eddie heard a nurse say before the blackness engulfed him whole.


	2. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many times can one lose the love of your life...

The face that met Eddie’s eyes as they open were unfamiliar. He straightened with a start and the woman’s kind face broke into a soft smile. “Hey, easy now” she said. She helped Eddie sit back in the chair. 

“Buck” Eddie said and immediately started to hyperventilate, remembering what made him blackout.

“He’s back. No better state than before. But he’s back. Which is good news, I guess” she sat on the adjacent chair and patted Eddie’s hand. “I know it’s hard to wait while someone you love is fighting for their life. But all you can do right now is have faith in them.” She said.

For the first time in a long time Eddie wanted his mother to be there, sitting next to him, comforting him and holding him when he cried. “Thank you.” He said to the kind nurse “You being here means so much” he said with gratitude. 

“It’s the least I can do” she smiled “I’m Claire by the way.” She said “I’m the nurse in-charge of your boyfriend” 

Eddie gulped and shook his head. “He is not my boyfriend. At least he doesn’t know that. I couldn’t tell him that I loved him. Now I don’t even know if I’d get a chance” his voice choked and he felt tears fill his eyes. 

“Oh, honey. Don’t ever think like that. I’ve seen miracles happen and this is the time to believe in a miracle if there ever was a time.” Claire said and patted Eddie’s hand once again. “I’m in his room or in the nurses’ station. Whenever you want me, you can find me in one of those places.” She got up and left him with a smile and a wave. 

As Eddie walked in the 118, he felt that death walked all over him. He was tired beyond belief. He had stayed up all night in the uncomfortable hospital chair and the two seconds he had fallen asleep ended in a nightmare of Buck dying. He had spoken to Claire in the early morning and went to abuela's home to send Chris to school. Then basked on the love that his Abuela and Tia showered on him for a moment and had come to the fire house.

“Eddie, did you have any sleep at all” he stopped Eddie and looked him over. “Sit here have something to eat” the rest of the team came from everywhere and surrounded Eddie wanting to know what was new. Eddie told them about the scare in the night and the kind nurse that helped him.

“I will stay tonight. You can go home and rest.” Hen said.

“No. I need to be there. I have to be there and tell him about how I feel. It cannot wait” Eddie said vehemently.  
“But you are putting yourself in great danger and in turn all of us.” Bobby said in a voice of reason. 

“Put me on light duty or even personal leave. I need to be there Cap” Eddie pleaded for his captain to understand.

“We’ll do something. Don’t worry” Bobby squeezed Eddie’s shoulder and walks away. The alarms go off and everyone pulls away to the fire trucks. The time rushes in a blur and before he knew it it was the time for Eddie to go to the hospital. 

He goes home to abuela and spends some time doing homework with Chris and he goes to the hospital. As he gets to Buck’s room, Claire is there to greet him with a hug. 

“Hey handsome boyfriend, I have food news.” She said with a big smile on her face. 

Eddie felt as if his knees go weak at her infectious happiness. “What is it Claire?”

“He is off the machine. He started to breath on his own and I think he would be just started to make his way into getting better” she said touching Eddie’s face with her fingertips.

Eddie held her hand and closed his eyes. Tears of relief squeezed through the tightly shut eyelids. “Oh, thank God” he kept on saying under his breath.

“So, do you want to be with him? You can talk to him. He would be able to hear you.” Claire said waggling here eyebrows. Her jovial nature was a welcome change to his heavy heart. 

“Yes please.” he said with all the sincerity he felt for the kind hearted nurse. 

Claire placed a chair near the bed and handed him a cover all to keep the patient safe. She patted his shoulder in a motherly fashion and walked out of the room.

Eddie sat on the chair and looked at Buck. His color has improved a little bit or he might be imagining it because of the good news. It was still heartbreaking to see the bubbly Buck laid out on the bed, but it was such a relief to know that he was slowly on the mend. Eddie was ok with slow; he was a patient man. 

“Hey, Buck” first word and he was choking with emotions. Eddie wanted to touch him so bad, but, refrained with great difficulty. “I hope you can hear me. God, I have so much to tell you. I want to have you looking at me when I say this. But I would say this like this than not say it at all” Eddie squeezed his hands together and found his fingers trembling with pent up emotions. “I love you, Buck” the floodgates opened with the declaration. Quite sobs shook his body as Eddie cried softly. The exhaustion of the two days catching up to him, he cried himself to a very uncomfortable slumber, with slightly less heaviness in his heart, knowing Buck was breathing on his own.

The next 4 days was a blur of action for Eddie. He would send Chris to school, go to work, go home and do Chris’s homework and then go to hospital to spend the night with Buck. He would spend the next hours talking to Buck. He felt so much closer to Buck and he was sure that Buck was hearing everything he was telling.

Thursday he was glad he could finish Chris’s homework quickly. He was very happy that he could come to the hospital sooner because he gets to spend even a little bit longer with Buck.

As usual he saw Claire standing at the nurse's station. He called “Hey Claire” as he walked up to her. However, the look she gave her was not what he expected. She looked as if she had been crying. Immediately Eddie’s heart dropped and he felt the telltale signs of tears behind his eyes. “Claire?” He choked out.

“I’m so sorry Eddie.” She said with fresh tears filling her eyes. 

Eddie took off in the direction on the room Buck occupied and he peered through the glass. Abby was sitting in the chair he uses to sit all these days. The sound of his steps had alerted the woman inside and she looked at him from across the room. 

Eddie looked away and stepped away from the glass. His heart was breaking again and it didn’t have anything to do with Buck being in danger. He turned and walked towards the visitor’s area dragging his feet.

“I need to talk to you.” He heard from behind and the voice stopped him on his tracks. “I hope you enjoyed the little drama you played during the past few days. Charming your way and lying to the nurses, saying you were Buck’s boyfriend.” Anger in her voice were like knives into his heart. “But, now I’m back and you do not need to be here anymore. Buck woke up today. He woke up when I came. He didn’t want to wake up when you were here because he doesn’t feel the way you do. I broke my engagement and came back because I knew that I still have very strong feelings for him. And he loves me just as much. So, I suggest that you just walk away. You have used him long enough”. 

Eddie was blinded once again by the tears that welled and cruised down his cheeks. The harsh words and false accusations hurting his tired heart more than anything. He was losing Buck all over again. He walked without turning back, gritting his teeth until he reached his truck. Once he was in his truck, he let his emotions lose and the pain he felt was drowning him to the point of no return.


	3. Drag me down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie didn't know that it could get any worse than it was at the moment. But he thought wrong. His strength was at the wits end and he was losing hope too fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, Christopher is God's gift to humanity... I love that kid so much...  
> Secondly Abuela is precious  
> Finally I'm not even attempting to write anything in Spanish. Because I don't know the proper use of the language.   
> This is a long ass chapter...

Eddie had completely lost track of how long he has been sitting in his truck. He looked around and wiped his tear crusted eyes. The parking lot was deserted. 'How befitting' he thought to himself. His heart was heavy despite the emptiness in it. 

“I can’t drive like this” he said out loud and looked at his trembling hands. He took out his phone, unlocked it and “I’ll call Buck..” the phone went directly to voicemail with Abby's voice telling Buck is unavailable at the moment. Eddie realize with a terrible feeling that he had automatically dialed Buck’s number, which was like a second nature to him. Worst yet, he couldn’t reach him. Abby had Buck's phone and there was no way for Eddie to reach Buck. 

‘Buck would call me' he said to himself and he was not sure who he was trying to convince by thinking like that. 

‘What if he really feels uncomfortable because of me? What if he had told her to not let me come see him? What if he had heard everything I said while he was asleep and hated me for that? How do I face Chris? God, how do I even live knowing I’m all by myself once again' he couldn’t stop the tears that cruised down his face. His heart was broken and he didn’t feel half what he was feeling right now for the mother of his child. He loved Buck more than he had ever loved anyone and now he was paying the price for that love.

He locked the truck and called a cab to take him home. It was not too late and Chris was still up. Abuela was reading him a bedtime story. He went to the washed his face in the kitchen sink so Chris won’t see his red rimmed eyes. He went to his son’s room. Abuela looked at once and raised her eyebrows worriedly. He shook his head and sat near Chris and gave him a hug.

“Finished your homework buddy?” he asked. He was surprised that he could talk at all. Abuela stood up and kissed Chris’s forehead before walking out of the room, giving some lone time for the father and son.

“Yes dad. But I have a science project to do for next week. Buck would have been able to help if he had been well” Chris said sadly.

Eddie felt the lump in his throat threatening to choke him and cleared his throat inconspicuously. “Well Chris about that.” He saw the boy’s cute nose crunch up in worry. “I don’t think Buck would be coming here anymore” his voice cracked at the end and he cleared his voice to cover that.

“Because Abuela’s house is too far away? Because there is no big screen TV for us to watch movies?” Chris asked and he looked confused and sad at the same time. 

Eddie was struggling with his emotions and seeing tears gathering at the corner of Chris's eyes was making the situation worst. He sniffled to buy a little bit of time and decided to be honest with his child. Chris was a great kid. He deserves to know the truth. 

“Do you remember Buck’s girlfriend who went to Ireland?” Chris nodded and Eddie continued “She came back and they are going to be spending time together. So he would not be able to spend time with us” a tear escaped his eye and his breath hitched. Eddie had never cried in Chris’s presence. He had always kept his composure. But now he was too hurt and too weak emotionally to keep up that façade. 

“Daddy” Chris only calls him daddy when he is worried. “It’s ok. We can still do movie night. If Buck finds time, he’ll come. If not, you have me” he said and held Eddie’s face in both his tiny hands and wiped his tears away. 

Eddie’s heart was breaking into even more tiny pieces, if that was even possible. ‘I don’t deserve this child' he was telling himself. He is the only constant and only hope in his life. Eddie hugged Chris tight and cried silently. He felt Chris coo at him the was Eddie soothe him when he was upset. 

Chris was rubbing Eddie’s back softly and said “Daddy, don’t be sad. I know you will miss Buck. I hope he stays your friend forever.”

Eddie felt as if his heart was being squeezed in a wise. It hurt too much to talk. ‘I think I’m having a heart attack. Can someone die of heartache?’ he was thinking to himself. He said good night to Chris and walked out of the room switching off the light.

Abuela was waiting for him in the breakfast nook. “What is wrong Eddie?” She asked and held her grandson’s hand in both her's as Eddie sat in front of her. 

The soft tone and the care in her touch brought back all the pain to the surface. “Abuela, Buck’s girlfriend came and told me that he didn’t want me there with him” he was struggling to talk and held on to Abuela’s hand like a lifeline. “She said I have been using him all this time” painful sobs wracked his body and Abuela got up and hugged him. It’s as if he had reservoir of tears, he had refused to shed all his life and the dam had broken letting everything out. “I am all by myself once again Abuela. I’ve lost Buck”.

“Oh, my poor baby” Abuela said “try to take one day at a time, baby. I know it hurts and doesn’t seem like it will never be better, but it does. Time will heal your wounds. You will always miss him. Because I know how much you loved him and how much his presence means to you. But you will learn to move on” Abuela kissed Eddie’s head and rocked him slowly, trying to sooth his pain like she used to do when he was a child. “You are never going to be alone baby. You have me and Tia Pepa for as long as we are alive” 

Going to work after an emotionally draining night is not easy. Eddie walked in and all eyes were on him. They were genuinely worried about him and he could see that in the way they held back, giving him space to make the first move. “I didn’t stay up late. Abby came and took over Buck watch” he said to no one in particular and everyone at the same time. 

“You came in a cab” Chim asked. 

Eddie’s step faltered as he stopped and turned to face his teammates. “I drove to the hospital yesterday and was not in a position to drive back. So, I left my truck at the parking lot and went home in a cab. I was going to ask you to drop me off at the hospital after shift today to pick it up.” He said to Chim and saw his nod his head in agreement immediately. “Thanks bud” he said and the alarm goes off saving him from further discussion.

The day had been hectic and had no time to even breathe freely. But Eddie’s heart weighed a tonne. With worry about not knowing how Buck was doing and missing having him, was almost too much to take. He sat on the couch with a sigh. However, the peace he was expecting was very short lived.

“Hey” Hen sat next to him. “How are you holding up Eds” she asked.

Eddie gave her a crooked sideways smile and gestures ‘so so' with his hand.

“I’m more worried about you than Buck at this point. Your head is not in the right place and I’ve never seen you like this before. It’s as if your fire that burned so bright has all but gone. What happened to you?” she asked and Eddie could see the misting in her eyes. 

Eddie sighed “I was angry when I came here. I was a single father with a child with medical issues. I didn’t know my child well because I was in Afghanistan. My parents were going to take my child away from me because I was not fit enough to be a father. I had so many things to straighten.” He looked out of the window at the sky and heaved a breath “I was so lost when I came here and Buck was on my case from get go. Then we started working together and slowly he started taking my burden away from me. Before I know he was taking care of me and Chris like no one had ever done.” 

Eddie was surprised that he was able to tell all these things without breaking. It was as if his tears have all but dried. ‘I all cried out' he thought to himself. 

“Then?” Hen prompted and Eddie remembered she was sitting next to him and he had withdrawn into his head for a minute.

“Then I fell in love with him” he looked at Hen searching her eyes for any reaction and found only sadness. He sighed and looked away “I have never been a good at reading people, Hen. This is another example of that. I didn’t read him right. I thought he felt the same that I did and now I have driven him away. I scared him so much that he needs someone else to communicate with me and it kills me to know that I have ruined a perfect friendship and the only good thing that happened to Chris in a long time.” He was feeling the prickling behind his eyes and the tightness in his throat. 

Hen rubbed his shoulders soothing his pain. Her phone rang and she picked it with a glance at Eddie that he could not read. 

“Hey Claire, what’s up?” she said and Eddie ears perked up. “What? How was Eddie not informed? He’s Buck’s emergency contact. Oh! I see. Thanks hon. Yeah, I’ll tell him. I know. Bye” Hen sighed and turned to Eddie only to find him looking at her expectantly.

“Buck went home. Abby took him.” She said and debated whether to say the rest of it or not. “She.. he.. um… changed the emergency contact.” 

Eddie couldn’t talk. He could hardly breathe for the lump in his throat had completely closed his airways. The stinging in his eyes was getting out of control and his nose was running. He nodded his head to what Hen said and got up. He walked to the break room and sat on his bed. ‘How can it be this bad? Or can it get worse than this? How did Buck turn on him this viciously? How am I going to survive this?’ tears streamed down his face and he covered his face and let them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was very hard to get my head in the story mode with all that was happening in the world. And for a moment I was thinking to abandon the story because of the cast members drama. But I love and respect Oliver Stark more than I ever did. He is a wonderful human being. Then I came to the decision that I write about characters not the cast.. so here it is...  
> #justiceforGeorgeFloyd #BLM #enoughisenough


	4. Stuck on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie was trying to build walls that Buck so easily broke down... However, it is not so easily put back together... He is trapped inside the vault he built for his heart because Buck's memories are locked inside the vault as precious cargo..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took longer than others... Had some medical things to handle... Last chapter would not take this long.. promise...

Eddie shook himself out of the sadness griping in heart and wiped his face. The tears had dried on his face and he felt salty grains on his fingertips. He got up and walked towards the washroom sink and splashed water on his face. He look in the mirror and was startled to see the stranger looking back at him. However, as he scrutinized the face in the mirror he saw that fine frown lines that had disappeared sometime back making a slow appearance once again. 'The walls are coming back up' he thought with such a relief. He had to do something to protect himself from going insane with grief. He had to keep his head straight for Christopher, Abuela, and his Tia. He had to keep a level head for his and his team's safety. The walls need to come up, they have to come up soon. He felt as if he was rejuvenated. Felt like his old self with anger and frustration as tools to break down any obstacle in his path. As Eddie looked at the time, his shift had already ended. And he walked to the locker room to get changed. 

As he came down his team was in a huddle and as soon as they saw him, they tried to pretend there was nothing going on. The problem was Eddie saw them talking in a huddle.

“Guys come on. Don’t insult me with that kind of behavior. What’s going on?” he asked as he stepped closer to the group.

Bobby handed him a letter and patted his hand in his signature fatherly way.

Eddie read the letter and his blood boiled over. It was a letter for a transfer signed by Buck. However, the wording was all off. Eddie would know Buck’s writing anywhere. The letter said that Buck was uncomfortable working in the 118 and would like to transfer to some other firehouse with a vacancy or even a mutual exchange. 

Eddie barked a humorless laugh and handed the letter back to Bobby. “He is uncomfortable because of me. I think I should leave. He is coming back after a big injury. You guys have to be here to help him. There is nothing wrong with me. Besides 116 is closer to Abuela,'s home” however, Eddie wasn’t even surprised that Abby would go to this much of trouble to keep him away from Buck. “I’ll give you my transfer form tomorrow. Today I have a movie date with someone special” he said and Hen cocked her head. “Christopher” Eddie said and patted Hen's shoulder “I learned my lesson Hen, not again” he said and walked into the locker room. 

Eddie stopped on the way to get pizzas and he had this urge that could not be denied to see Buck. He scolded himself for being such a weakling for someone who doesn’t even want to speak to him over the phone. He drove to Buck’s apartment and got out of the truck. As he was about to knock on the door, it opened and Abby stood there waiting for him.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in a low voice “I made it very clear that he doesn’t want to see you. “she said with Her hands on her hips. 

Eddie felt his heart, or what’s left of it squeeze painfully. “Chris wants to see his Buck. He misses him. Do you think he could see Buck for a little bit? I won’t come. It’s my fault that Buck feels uncomfortable. But my kid is sad and he would love to see Buck.” He was sad beyond he had ever been. He was sure Abby would not let Chris see Buck. He saw it in the set of her face.

“No. I’m trying to get him back on his feet. I don’t want any part of you or your family interfere with his progress. Just leave and stay away. He doesn’t want anything to do with you or your kid “she closes the door in Eddie’s face and despite the resolve he made, he felt tears prickling behind his eyes. 

He turned and walked away, possibly for the last time from Buck’s life. 

116 was something to get used to. Lena was there. At least a friendly face. He was settling into a nice routine. He would send Chris to school and come to work. After work he would go home straight away and spend time with his family . Tia was visiting regularly and Chris was happy that his dad was spending the with him. However, Eddie caught him looking at the pictures he and Buck has taken over the several visits and he was looking at the photos wishfully and putting them back reverently in the old shoebox he kept under his bed. Eddie knew he missed having Buck and God he missed the big oaf so much sometimes he had to just hold on to something to steady himself. A month after their lives were so violently ripped apart, the pain was as fresh as it has been the first day. Sadly Eddie had realized that when he put up walls around his heart to protect what little was left of it, he had put all the precious memories Eddie, Buck and Chris shared along with the sliver of his heart and locked the vault. There was no getting over the pain of losing Buck, there was no healing for him. It seems as if it is the same for his poor child as well and it kills him every time, because he brought Buck into Chris’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is a short chapter... My chemo came in the middle.. and I'm not fully back on my feet yet...


	5. You complete me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiny works in strange ways. Lovers written in stars would find their way to each other despite odds against them. Buddie is destined to be together...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took long enough... So sorry about that... But it's here now.. and it's happy... So enjoy..   
> It's very long.. be warned  
> PS. Athena is a queen! So badass... I love her

Buck was going stir crazy staying at home. He thought when he woke up from medically induced coma and saw Abby sitting next to his bed he would be over the moon and his life would be completed. However, when he woke up he was disappointed to see Abby. He was expecting someone else. He was sure Eddie has been there telling him things that he never thought he would hear Eddie telling him. He was not sure if it was all a sedative induced dream or it really happened.

However, Eddie was not mentioned ever during this time he had been at home recovering. Everyone called him and not a single call or message from Eddie. It’s as if he has dropped out of the edge of the earth while Buck was too sick to notice. 

Yes, He was going crazy because of the prolonged stay at home. Having Abby with him was really nice. But he sensed something different about Abby. She was too observant and on the edge. Buck could clearly see that she was preoccupied and caught her staring into a faraway place one too many times. ‘I need to get out of here' he said to himself and slowly got out off of the bed. It was not as uncomfortable as it has been the first two weeks since his discharge from the hospital.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Abby asked and Buck could sense a controlled tone in her voice. He didn’t even see where she came from. It’s as if she just materialized from thin air. 

“I am going crazy staying in Abby. I need to take a breath of fresh air. Please” he knew he had to pull all the charm if he wanted to convince Abby. Right now it seems that it was not working very much to his favor. “Hey, did you see my phone? I need to call Mads” he said and noticed Abby tense up as if she was trying to hide something. Buck noticed that Abby couldn’t meet his eyes and wringing her hands together nervously. 

“I’m sorry babe, I dropped it yesterday and gave it to the shop to be mended. They haven’t finished with it yet. I called in the morning” Buck knew she was lying and had no idea why she was doing it. The strangest thing was that he wasn’t even hurt that she did it. He was consumed by the worry of what happened to Eddie, that he didn’t even care about the rest of the world. 

“That’s ok. Let’s go get something to eat.” He said with a sweet smile. ‘I might not know what she’s up to. But, two can play at this game.’ He said to himself. He could see the disapproval on Abby’s face but she didn’t say anything as they went out locking the door. 

Buck hailed a cab and gave the address of the 118. “Where are we going?” Abby asked. Buck knew that she recognized the address of the firehouse. 

“My favorite place” Back said with a genuine smile. He was not lying after all. He could see Abby crossing her arms and her frown deepen. As the cab stopped at the 118 and Buck saw Eddie’s truck parked at the visitor’s area. His heart started to beat faster just at the thought of seeing him again after so long. He walked into the firehouse and met with the entire crew standing. Even Athena was there.

“So, when did you start working here?” Buck asked Athena and gave her light hug, being conscious of his injuries. Everyone was patting him on the back and ruffling his hair but the face he longed to see was not there. He stepped into the locker room just to make sure Eddie was not there. ‘Maybe he’s hiding and would surprise me later' Buck thought

But, he was surprised for a completely different reason when he didn’t see the ‘Diaz’ name on Eddie’s usual locker. He was loss for words and all bad things that could have happened to Eddie while he was gone came rushing like the tidal wave on that tsunami day. “Where is Eddie’s locker?” He asked wildly gesturing towards the familiar locker. 

The increased breathing and movement were pulling at his stitches and he felt the stabbing pain inside his chest. Hen noticed the subtle change and came close to Buck. “Hey Buckaroo. He’s transferred to another station. You have to settle down. You are recently patched up. Don’t strain too much.” She said.

“Transferred? But why? And I saw his truck outside. He has to be here. Why has he not come to see me in the hospital. All of you called, he didn’t even give me a single call or a voice message. Nothing” Buck felt his throat closing with emotions. Everyone was eyeing Abby in a very strange way.

Athena looked ready to kill someone. “What? Eddie never came to see you at the hospital. Is that what you heard?” she looked at Abby with one of her perfect eyebrows arched. “He was going to kill himself or one of these guys. He stayed with you for 5 days, you were unconscious. He was so exhausted. They moved to Abuela’s house because he needed someone to look after Chris while he was with you at the hospital.” She was seething “I don’t know who said what to you, but I know what happened and these guys know as well.” She said and stormed inside with a final killer stare at Abby.

“Guys what’s going on?” Buck was shell shocked. He sat on the edge of the fire engine because he was not sure his legs would be able to hold him up much longer. 

“Buck, we have to go. Clearly they are not ready to accept you yet… so” what Abby was saying was abruptly cut down by a new voice.

“No, stay Evan. I need to know what’s happening too. Chimney is not telling me much, because he doesn’t want to worry me. But, I’m not an idiot. I know something is wrong.” Maddy came closer with her protruding stomach and sat next to her brother. 

“You tell him. Speak up for God sake without suffering alone” Athena was dragging Eddie by his arm and he had tears running down his face. Athena stopped in front of where Buck sat and dragged Eddie forward. “Tell him” she ordered. 

Buck stood up from his sitting position. He didn’t see anything happening around him and had only eyes for the man standing in front of him. Eddie was openly and shamelessly crying. It shocked Buck because he had never seen Eddie this vulnerable and distraught. 

“BUCK, I said let’s go” Abby held Buck’s arm and pulled hard. Buck jerked his arm away from her and the force knocked her handbag out of her grasp and the content scattered around Buck’s feet. Surprise, his phone was there. 

“I thought my phone was in the repair shop? How is it here now?” he asked and his voice had gone dangerously low. Everything was falling into place now. He picked up his phone and tried to unlock it. “You changed my phone lock?” he shoved it towards her “unlock” he said. Abby used her fingerprint to unlock Buck’s phone and he immediately changed the lock back to his own. Then he checked the call log and blocked number list. Sure enough Eddie’s number was blocked and there were at least 50 calls blocked from his number. 

“Oh Eds. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Buck said and stepped up to Eddie and hugged him. Eddie laid his face in Buck’s chest as sobs wracked his body.

“I left my fiance and came because we had something beautiful. But clearly you don’t feel the same. After all that I’ve done for you, you choose this.. this man over me” Abby spat at no one in particular because no one was paying her any attention. She stormed out of the fire house and Buck saw Athena talk to someone on her radio at the same time.

The others discreetly moved away from the two embracing young men and within a the next few seconds they were left alone in the engine bay. Eddie’s sobs have subsided to soft sniffles and Buck’s shirt had completely soaked through with tears. He suddenly realized that the tightness he felt in his heart all along had disappeared and his heart beat had returned to a very comfortable pulse. Buck once again was reminded that he got his formula for happiness in his arms right this moment. There is nothing more he needed in this life. “Hey!” He said softly. Eddie looked up and met Buck’s eyes for the first time in almost a month. Buck was taken back by the sadness in the red rimmed yes. He wiped the tears on Eddie’s flushed cheeks. Eddie closed his eyes and his breath hitched at the soft touch. 

“I called you so many times. Left many voicemail messages. I was never able to connect.” Eddie said. “Then I came to your house. She said you didn’t want to see me. That I made you feel uncomfortable” his voice got choked momentarily. He cleared his throat and continued. “I asked her could Christopher come and see you. Because he was so worried about you. She said that we’ve used you enough” a heavy tear drop hung on to the tip of Eddie’s impossibly long lashes. It wobbled threatening to fall at the slightest movement. “Please tell me you didn’t say any of those things about me and my son Buck… please” it came as a pained whisper as the teardrop finally let go of the lash and slid down already salt crusted cheek. 

Buck met Eddie’s searching watery eyes with all the confidence he had. He cupped Eddie’s burning cheeks and said “You never have to ask that question. You know that I would never say anything like that. Of course, I didn’t. You are the reason why I came here today. I could not stay another day without seeing you. I missed you and having you around me so much I thought I was getting a heart attack.” He carded his fingers through Eddie’s soft short hair and asked “So, all those things you said when I was unconscious, did I really hear them or was I having a medically induced romantic dream.” It was his turn to blush and he felt the heat rise on his cheeks.

Eddie smiled shyly and looked down hiding his face in the folds of Buck’s shirt. “You heard it all?” he asked in a small voice. If they had not been so close together Buck would have missed the words he uttered.

“Every single word of it. I wanted to wake up so bad. But the medicine was pulling me down. When I woke up and found Abby there, I was actually disappointed. When I didn’t see you all these days, I felt really hurt. I didn’t know what you were going through.” He pulled Eddie tight against his body and rubbed soothing circles on his back. Buck felt that Eddie had lost weight and was much thinner than he remembered. He hated Abby for putting this beautiful person through hell for loving him. “What happened at the hospital?” he asked.

Eddie didn’t want to be ratting someone out but he was angry and he felt vengeful. “She said you were not waking up because you felt disgusted or didn’t feel the same way as I do” he snuggled closer to Buck and continued “She changed your emergency contact details. So I got completely cut off.” His voice cracked. “Then she sent a letter here saying you need a transfer, because you don’t feel comfortable working here. You were coming after injury so, I offered to go to 116” Eddie finished the story. 

“Wait, you are at 116? Where Lena is at? So you went back to where your 'friend' is because you got hurt?” venom dripped from Buck’s voice.

“Stop. I can’t go back to what I was before. I’ve fallen in love with you. There is no space for anyone else” Eddie cupped Buck’s face in both his hands. Buck snaked his arms around Eddie’s waist and pulled him closer. 

“Me too baby. I love you. I have been in love with you from the very first moment I set my eyes on you. And when I met you son, he just completed my life. If only you knew how much I wanted to call you my little family.” Buck felt the tears prickling at the back of his eyes with emotion. He saw Eddie’s eyes moisten as he gave Buck a very wobbly but a happy smile.

A throat cleared somewhere close and Eddie made an effort to jump back but was stopped by the strong arms around his waist. “So, have you guys sort of fused together yet? Are you even decent? Do you know that you can be seen from the road? Gosh try to keep it in guys” Chim asked in a mocking voice. “Eddie, I hope it’s ok that I brought Christopher here. I thought he would want to meet Buck at some point.” He said and promptly walked away.

Buck and Eddie looked at each other and broke into giggles at once. Buck dragged his hands all the way up to Eddie’s jaws and cupped them tilting his face up and kissed his lips hard and insistently. He hoped that the kiss conveyed how he felt about Eddie. “That’ll have to do for now” he said and Eddie made a needy noise that was somewhere between a groan and moan. Buck felt lightheaded immediately because his brain didn’t have enough oxygen to work with as all his blood had gone south. “No, don’t ever make that noise in a public place. Unless you want to get arrested for public indecency. I would not be held accountable for anything that would happen to you. What I would do to you” he bent in half “How am I going to see the that beautiful child with a boner Eddie?” he whined.

Eddie was cracking up as he ran his fingers through Buck’s hair that had grown out a little during the time spent recovering. “Think of dead puppies or better, Lena at 116” he barked a laugh at the instantaneous frown on Buck’s face. 

He stood up straight all arousal forgotten “Way to kill a boner” he said.

Eddie giggled and said “Duly noted” he held Buck’s hand and said “Let’s go, Chris must be getting antsy wanting to see you.” 

Buck was blown away by how beautiful Eddie looked at that moment and made a promise to himself never to let a tear shed from those gorgeous honey colored eyes unless it is out of happiness.

As they stepped in to the rest area where the whole crew was hanging out waiting for them, he was greeted with a deafening “BUCKY!!!” and an over excited Chris wiggling on the couch.

Buck ran towards the laughing child without letting go of Eddie’s hand and in the process dragged him behind his much larger body like a rag doll. “Superman! it’s so good to see you. I missed you so much” Buck hugged the frail body of the child he loves with all his heart and soul. He was sure that he loved Chris even more than he loves Eddie, if that was humanly possible. He dragged Eddie in to the hug and all three of them held each other healing their broken hearts. ‘I am not alone anymore. I have my family at last and it’s the best there ever could be' Buck thought and let himself be consumed by all the love showered on him by his two most favorite people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might turn into a series... We'll wait and see... Let me know what you think.... Thank you for reading...

**Author's Note:**

> There is no beta, so mistakes would be mine... I am going to write my own story and be unapologetic about it... I hate toxic masculinity...


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